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Why Feeling Safe With Yourself Is the Real Foundation of Self-Love
- Nat Creasy
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Inside Nat's Notebook - Real Reflections for Real Change
February has a way of turning the volume up on romance.
Hearts everywhere.
Messages about being chosen.
The subtle suggestion that being loved by someone else is what makes life feel complete.
And yet, this is the month when many women I work with feel more unsettled, not less.
Not because they are unloved.
But because love does not feel safe inside their own bodies.
So I want to talk about something we rarely name when we talk about self-love.
Safety.
When Love Does Not Feel Settling
You can be deeply loved and still feel anxious.
You can be in a relationship and still feel on edge.
You can be single and perfectly content one moment, then quietly questioning yourself the next.
That is not a reflection of your worth.
It is a reflection of how safe your nervous system feels.
We have been taught that self-love is confidence.
Affirmations.
Liking yourself more.
But self-love does not land in the thinking mind first.
It lands in the body.
And when the body does not feel safe, love feels effortful.
Even when it is genuine.
What Safety Actually Means
Safety is not the absence of difficulty.
It is the absence of bracing.
It is the feeling that you do not have to perform, manage, or hold it together quite so tightly.
That you can exhale without something bad happening.
That you are allowed to be as you are, right now, without needing to change first.
Many women have learned to survive by staying alert.
Reading the room.
Anticipating needs.
Keeping the peace.
That skill is useful.
But over time, it trains the nervous system to stay on guard.
And a guarded nervous system struggles to receive love.
Even from itself.
Why This Matters in February
February tells us that love should sweep us off our feet.
That it should be exciting, consuming, intoxicating.
But what most women are quietly craving is not intensity.
It is steadiness.
To feel at home in their own skin.
To trust that they are not about to be abandoned by themselves.
To rest without guilt.
To soften without fear.
That is the kind of love that actually nourishes.
And it starts with safety.
The Subtle Shift That Changes Everything
Self-love does not begin with asking
“How can I be better?”
It begins with asking
“Can I let myself feel safe right now?”
Safe to slow down.
Safe to pause.
Safe to feel what I am feeling without rushing to fix it.
When safety is present, self-trust begins to return.
Capacity increases.
Life feels less sharp.
Not because anything dramatic has changed.
But because your body is no longer on high alert.
This is the work I see change everything.
Not self-improvement.
Not striving.
Learning how to experience safety from the inside out.
A Quiet Invitation
In Soul Sessions, this is what we practise together.
Not techniques.
Not performance.
But learning how to feel safe in yourself, in your body, and in community.
So love does not feel like something you have to earn or manage.
February is not about proving your worth to get love
It is about remembering where love actually begins.
This week, notice where your body braces.
Not to judge it.
Just to see it.
Where do your shoulders lift?
Where does your breath shorten?
Where do you rush when nothing is actually chasing you?
Then ask yourself gently
What would help me feel just a little safer right now?
Not more effort.
Not more doing.
Just one small moment of ease.
That is self-love in its most honest form.
Stay blessed
Nat x 🧡
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