The Year You Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself

Inside Nat's Notebook - Real Reflections for Real Change

Here we are. January. And the internet is screaming at you about who you need to become.

New year, new you. New habits. New discipline. New morning routine. New meal plan. New productivity system.

More. Better. Faster. Stronger.

And there you are, already exhausted, thinking: I should probably do that vision board thing. I should start that course I bought. I should finally get serious about...

Stop.

Just for a moment, stop.

Because I want to show you something you might have forgotten: you have a choice.

Not the fake choice between should and shouldn't. Not the guilt-soaked choice between what you're supposed to do and what you're failing to do.

A real choice. The kind that comes from somewhere deeper than your to-do list.

The Weight of Should

Let me ask you something. How does it feel when you're operating from should, would, could?

You know that feeling. It's heavy, isn't it? Like you're wading through thick mud. Every task feels harder than it needs to be. You procrastinate on things you "should" be doing, then beat yourself up for procrastinating. You start your day already behind, already failing at commitments you never really wanted to make in the first place.

Should zaps your energy before you even begin.

Would keeps you trapped in a fantasy version of yourself that doesn't exist.

Could leaves you stuck at the crossroads, frozen by possibility but taking no actual steps.

These words don't motivate you. They drain you. They disconnect you from your own inner knowing and hook you into everyone else's expectations - real or imagined.

When you're living in should-land, everything feels like an obligation. Even the good stuff. Even the things that are supposed to be "self-care" become another item on the list, another way you're not measuring up, another thing you're doing wrong.

You're grinding. You're stuck. You're going through the motions.

And somewhere underneath all of that? You've forgotten that you're allowed to choose differently.

The Power of Choice

Now let me show you what happens when you shift from should to choose.

I choose to do this.

Feel that? There's energy there. Clarity. Alignment. When you choose something from your heart of hearts, you show up differently. You're present. You're engaged. Even if the task is challenging, there's a quality of aliveness to it because it's yours.

I choose not to do this.

And here's the revolutionary part - this carries just as much power. This isn't avoidance. This isn't failure. This is discernment. This is you, listening to your inner wisdom and trusting what it tells you.

When you choose - really choose - you're no longer at war with yourself. You're not dragging yourself through days you resent. You're not performing for an invisible audience. You're not trying to become someone else's version of who you should be.

You're simply making conscious decisions that honour what's true for you, right now, in this moment.

What If You Let Yourself Off the Hook?

Here's what I know after years of working with brilliant, accomplished, exhausted women: you've been running on autopilot for so long that you've forgotten what it feels like to actually want something.

To choose something because it lights you up, not because it looks good or seems responsible or might impress someone.

To say no because it's not aligned, not because you're being lazy or selfish or difficult.

You've been conditioned to believe that your worth is tied to your productivity, your usefulness, your ability to show up for everyone else. You've been taught that listening to yourself is indulgent. That choosing what you want is somehow... wrong.

But what if it isn't?

What if the most radical thing you could do this January isn't to add more to your plate, but to question what's already there?

What if you asked yourself: Do I actually choose this? Or am I just doing it because I think I should?

The Statement That Changes Everything

I want to give you something to try on. Read it slowly. Out loud if you can.

I am choosing to do what I want to do, rather than what my conditioned self thinks I should do. I'm willing to let go of should, would, and could - and embrace I choose to or I choose not to.

How does that land in your body? Does something shift? Does something relax? Or does something tighten up, resistant?

Both responses are information. Both are worth paying attention to.

Because this isn't about being selfish. It's not about abandoning responsibility or letting everyone down. It's about reconnecting with your own inner wisdom - the part of you that actually knows what's right for you, what's aligned for you, what will nourish rather than deplete you.

That wisdom doesn't speak in shoulds. It speaks in clarity. In yes and no. In choice.

#Rebel Moment

Here's your practice for this week:

Start noticing your language. Every time you catch yourself saying "I should" or "I need to" or "I have to," pause. Get curious.

Ask yourself: Is this true? Do I actually choose this? Or is this my conditioning talking?

And if it's conditioning? If it's a should that doesn't belong to you?

Give yourself permission to choose differently.

To say no, even if someone might be disappointed. To say yes, even if it's not what you "should" want. To trust yourself enough to make choices that feel right in your bones, not just right on paper.

This is how you stop grinding. This is how you step out of the stuck. This is how you reclaim your energy, your time, your life.

Not by doing more. Not by becoming someone new.

By remembering that you always, always have a choice.

And choosing accordingly.

What would you choose if you stopped shoulding? I'd love to hear what comes up for you.

Stay Blessed

Nat x 🧡

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Exhausted but still brilliant? You bet you are.

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