Depression Doesn’t Always Look Sad, Sometimes It Looks Like Your ‘Perfect’ Life

Inside Nat's Notebook - Real Reflections for Real Change

A Not-So-Obvious Breakdown of My "Perfect" Life

In honour of Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m sharing a part of my story that’s not always easy, but as always I am keeping it real.

You see, I was convinced I wasn’t depressed.

I mean, how could I be? I had nothing to be depressed about.

✔ A new car (with that new car smell)

✔ A shiny new flat (Instagram-worthy lighting included)

✔ A great job (because that’s what success looks like, right?)

✔ A packed social life (because being busy means being happy… or so I thought)

So why, in the quiet moments, did I feel like a hollow shell of a human?

Why did I feel nothing when I should have felt everything?

Here’s what I didn’t understand back then:

Depression isn’t always sadness. Sometimes, it’s numbness. 

It’s the body saying, “Hey love, I’m out of fuel and we need a new plan.”

And instead of listening, I did what any high-achiever does: I got busier! Because if you move fast enough, you don’t have to hear the quiet whispers inside saying, "This isn’t it."

The Geek Bit:

Depression is a nervous system state, let’s get something straight, Depression is not just a mood.

It’s also not a weakness.

And it’s not a failure.

It’s a nervous system state.

Think of it like this: You’ve been running on caffeine, adrenaline, and sheer willpower for so long that your nervous system goes,

 "Alright, we’re done. Shutdown sequence activated."

This is the freeze state, the part of the nervous system that says: "If we can’t fight and we can’t run, we’ll just… stop."

It’s like your phone overheating and going into low-power mode. Not because it’s broken.Because it needs to cool down before it can function again.

So what if depression isn’t the problem?

What if it’s actually a message? What if it’s your nervous system’s way of saying, "Stop running. It’s time to listen."

The Recipe for Rising (A Depression-Friendly Guide)

📝 Ingredients:

• 1 cup of self-acceptance (not the fake 'love & light' kind, use the real, gritty kind)

• 2 tablespoons of self-awareness (see note below!)

• 1 heaped scoop of compassion (because this whole process is tender, and so are you)

• A generous dash of curiosity (because the right questions change everything)

• A sprinkle of courage (not a full cup—you don’t need that much to start!)

• Optional: A pinch of rebellion (for those moments when the world’s expectations feel suffocating)

Instructions:

Step 1: Accept where you are.

• No gaslighting yourself with “I should be happy because…”

• Just take a deep breath and say: “Okay, this is where I am. Now, what is this trying to tell me?”

Step 2: Check your self-awareness for quality control.

• Self-awareness set to neutral, like watching yourself in a documentary.

• If your inner voice sounds like a mean girl, throw it out—it’s expired. 

• Instead, just observe yourself. No labels. No judgements. Just notice.

Step 3: Stir in curiosity.

• Ask: “What is this feeling here to show me?”

• Depression isn’t just sadness—sometimes, it’s your nervous system saying, "Slow down. Look inward. There’s something important here."

Step 4: Add a scoop of compassion.

• Think of how you’d talk to a struggling friend. Now, use that voice on yourself.

• Try: “I am human. I am doing the best I can with what I have.”

Step 5: Sprinkle in courage (lightly).

• You don’t need to fix everything today.

• Just take one small step toward listening to yourself. That’s enough.

Step 6: Let it rest.

• Healing isn’t an overnight bake. It’s a slow, gentle rise.

• Patience required. Like baking, but with way bigger rewards.

#RebelMoment: 

Change the Question, most people ask, “How do I get rid of depression?” But what if you asked, “What is this trying to show me?”

Try this:

🧡 Instead of pushing the feeling away, take five minutes today and just sit with it.

🧡 Ask yourself: If this feeling had a voice, what would it say?

🧡 No fixing. No judging. Just listen.

🧡 And if it feels wobbly? Drop me an email or grab time in my diary, we can have a cuppa a natter about it, and a biscuit too if you fancy. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Remember: You’re not broken. You’re just learning to listen in a new way.

And if you’re feeling curious about where your nervous system is at right now, take this 2-minute quiz to decode its messages.

➡️ Nervous System Quiz ⬅️

Stay Blessed!

Nat x 🧡

Your Burnout Bestie

---

Exhausted but still brilliant? You bet you are.

Want some no-fluff, all-heart nervous system goodness popping into your inbox every two weeks? ➔ Subscribe to Inside Nat’s Notebook, tea and giggles included. [Subscribe]

Know you’re ready to call time on tired? ➔ Book a FREE Reset Chat. Tea, biscuits, you, me, and a little nervous system magic. [Chat with Nat]

It’s lighter on the other side, I promise. 🌟